Siobhán dreamed deeply.

At first she could feel herself constantly in a state of unrest, as she tried to remain connected to her younger sister Ana. Like a fragile thread between worlds and across a universe she felt the easily broken link ebbing and flowing. The paradox she was discovering seemed to demonstrate that the harder she tried to grasp that thread and pull her sister closer the faster the thread broke and dissolved.

Then it would quickly remerge and tether the two of them together again. She realized after some time that the thread was originating with her sister, and that their bond was a natural function of space and time not an actual manifestation that could be manipulated. It was metaphorical in many ways, but it also confirmed for Siobhán that Ana was still alive and this made her very happy.

Ana was the last of her sisters and mothers still alive, the thread confirmed this as well. Although it was much less clear previously, she had often dreamed this dream of being connected to dozens of sisters and mothers with many threads in the same way. Every thread she understood was her connection to her bloodline…and with each tether to a person at the other end she could identify as one of her living family tree. Slowly one by one they became less, popping out of existence with intense flashes of sorrow and loss, until finally there was only this one thread left.

Ana’s three year old thread…the youngest of all the sisters.

Even as she dreamed Siobhán tried to make sense of what was happening to her family. All of her sisters and mothers had been once been sequestered away in dozens of chalets and castles and monasteries throughout the world, living a life of servitude and service to the communities in which they lived and thrived. They attended the best schools and wanted for nothing, and had warm loving mothers who cared for them, nurtured their curiosity and protected them.

Siobhán lived with two mothers and six sisters in Castelo do Batel, a beautiful castle nestled in the country side outside Curitiba, Brazil. For her whole life she had explored this magnificent place with her siblings, investigating forgotten rooms, tracing 1000 year old stained glass figures with her fingers, and racing down endless marble paved halls. It was a blissful time and place, whose absence seems now even more profound and heartrending. Everyone seemed so happy and content.

It all seemed a little surreal in reflection. The real world she learned quickly, the world outside beyond the shroud she had been living under, was far more violent, unforgiving and ugly. The whole charade had come undone rapidly one evening, following months of now what seemed building tension and anxiety with her two mothers, when she was awoken in the dead of night and shuttled away in the care of a man she did not know.

That was also the last time she saw any of her sisters or mothers alive. Within weeks their threads ceased to exist in one painful loss after another. She had wept violently for each, and then through that intense pain and loss also realized that all the threads in her family tree were systematically being snuffed out. Soon dozens of threads became only a few, until finally there were only two.

For weeks she mourned and fell in to depression and had the most fitful sleeps imaginable. Standing by as each thread dissolved and feeling her own sense of existence and purpose fading, with the only saving grace the realization that through it all her youngest sister Ana remained alive and well…in this she found hope.

For five months her chaperone shuttled her daily between towns and villages, sometimes via vehicle and bus but mostly on foot, and always through the generosity of others until finally they reached Canada. Each night they would arrive in a new place and in what seemed a random act, would knock on a complete stranger’s door and would be welcomed in for a hot meal, bath, clean clothes, sometimes replacement shoes and toiletries, and a much needed rest. They crossed two entire continents this way while she was in a total fog and disconnected from it all – none of it seemed plausible now.

Then one morning she woke to find her chaperone gone, and finally with some clarity of mind and soul. She realized that she had never once asked him his name, which she regretted instantly. The man had hardly spoken to her the entire time, or at least that’s what she remembered. She was certain she had not spoken the entire five months which seemed impossible, nor did she challenge his motivations or plan…she had simply obediently followed his wishes and directions. Which in reflection now was counter to her nature and attitude. Still she had trusted him unconditionally. Despite what was said or not said, he had certainly touched her soul and through his very pressence communicated strength and safety and love.

He had been her angel when she needed one most.

In all the days the followed her mind often drifted to Ana, wondering where she was and how she was doing. Her days had been hard and difficult, and she felt constantly under pressure to keep moving and trusted no one. At night when she finally stopped moving and time to think she often cried for fear of what Ana must be experiencing, and how afraid she must be.

Each night Siobhán desparetly chased sleep and dreams to confirm her connection with Ana, and therefore that she still alive. Each night the connection remained confirmed, and she always struggled to physically pull Ana closer and find out where she was, as if the tether was a safety line that could rescue her sister. Somehow though the connection also revealed that Ana was not in distress, or in any type of pain or hurt. In fact, the exact opposite, and for this Siobhán was thankful.

No matter though, every night in the depth of her dreams she affirmed her commitment and promise to find Ana and save her from the demons who would see them dead and gone.

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Lawrence Lewis

About Lawrence Lewis

I do a number of things professionally...but most of all and the true purpose of what I do through "my work" is to provide for my family, be a good husband and great father, and try to make a difference as a world citizen...I guess it's not much more complicated than that 🙂