I am not sensitive to words…any word I have learned can have any multitude of meaning, and place it next to others and ‘meaning’ can take pretty much any path you want it to. I am sensitive to tone though…and the pattern of sounds and other gestures, and I find these patterns can be far more telling than the simple words that combine with them. It’s interesting to me then that as parents we often tell our children to “use your words”, then so frequently misinterpret them…even less often really truly hear or understand what they are saying…and then so poorly use our own words in return. As adults we tend to fixate on words, perhaps better stated as this word or that word in an exchange…somehow finding absolute interpretation as if to provide some cipher into the soul and intent of the speaker. Occasionally I get these glimpses from my children’s words that cause me pause because they register with me that something is askew…an expectation has been derailed or a limitation has been experienced…or how they frame an event or relationship is a little off. The bigger more magnified events…the ‘melt downs’ seem irrational and bewildering – and so they should – because they probably have very little to do with the trivial matter that triggered it…and really, in my view, demonstrate my failure to properly hear and register telling words earlier: a frustration…a disappointment…a fear. The caution perhaps, and as a parent I need to be better at this, is taking full responsibility for the words that are exchanged with my children, taking more time to decipher the mutual understanding of what we say to each other, how we say it, and what we hear each other saying…equally, what is not said or what words are not spoken. My challenge, to be more attentive and to use words with clearer intent and purpose with my children…and the next time I get that glimpse that something is just a little awry – stop and bring my full attention to their needs and the concern before them and use our words to find a way through it together.
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Lawrence Lewis
“Good words are worth much, and cost little.” – George Herbert
About Lawrence Lewis
I do a number of things professionally...but most of all and the true purpose of what I do through "my work" is to provide for my family, be a good husband and great father, and try to make a difference as a world citizen...I guess it's not much more complicated than that 🙂